Traction–Part Two
“Riley, take me home please.”
He doesn’t say anything. None of us do.
We drop Danny and Roddie off first. They get out of the car and assess the damage. “Oh man,” they both say. Riley peels out of the driveway almost running them over. Finally Riley answers my command.
“Why the fuck should I have pulled over? We would have gotten busted Harmony. You would have had to call your mother from the police station and explain what happened. You would be grounded for the rest of your life, and we wouldn’t have been able to see each other again. I was stoned. I have weed in my pocket. I did it for us.”
“We still should have stopped. What if a husband will never see his wife alive again cause we fucked up.”
“Then it wouldn’t have mattered if we stopped. She’d be dead anyway.”
“What if he would be consoled knowing who ruined his dreams of a happy family? Maybe he would feel better with someone to blame. We just don’t know. I’m so ashamed of us.”
I feel my heart deflating inside my chest. My insides are cringing and ready to spill out of me. Instead there are tears.
“Shut up. You made all that up, Harmony. Stop living in your imaginary world. This is how the world is, was, and will be. Don’t make tonight seem like the apocalypse. Tonight was nothing. Just a mistake and people make their mistakes.”
“Riley,” I choke out, “This mistake could have been prevented.”
“How do we know that? We don’t.” His voice melts in to a whisper. “So shut up.” He feels so bad. He just can’t admit it to himself. Trauma brings people together. Maybe we won’t fight so much after this.
“Listen, I don’t care what you do, but I don’t want to fight like we do anymore,” I say.
“Ok, then get out and call your mom.” He pulls over to a gas station payphone.
“Why? I just want to go home now.”
“Tell her there‘s bad traffic and you’ll be home in an hour.”
I just said that I don’t want to fight, so I won’t argue with him. I call her. She gives me hell for missing dinner already. I tell her, “I’m sorry, Riley got in a fight with his parents. I have had to console him. He’s like hysterical.” I knew she’d buy that. She understands the duties of a proper girlfriend. I get another hour to stay out.
Riley takes me to a small creek that surrounds some rich man’s housing division. He turns the car off and we get out. We are surrounded by a dark silence. I sit near the water. He unties my shoes one by one. Then he gently rolls the socks off my feet. I love being taken care of. He really loves me. He tickles my feet with his fingertips. I don’t let myself laugh, I just let the sensation well up inside of me and then fade away. He kisses each one of my toes before rolling up the bottoms of my pants from my calves. He nudges my feet toward the water. It’s cold, but I contain the shiver. He’s trying to be romantic. I want him to feel good. “I love you Harmony. It’s just sometimes I get overexcited and overwhelmed.”
“I know baby,” I whisper. “I love you, too. It’s all right. We’re both ok, and that’s what really matters.” He brings his hand up behind my head and pulls me in for a gentle kiss. I try to inhale all of his familiar scents. He is a good guy. He loves me. He is the first person I’ve ever met whose sweat smells like relief.
